Now what do we do?

There's a meltdown going on. Excessive consumption is killing the World. We've got to take a break and catch our breath. We'll pause this adventure for awhile but it might turn out that "Camp" becomes sanctuary. Everyone is welcome. Bring a bag and some seeds.

Friendship at it's purest form

You know, it's so cliche, but good people are hard to find, and great people almost impossible to find. I have conquered that impossibility though, I have found a lifelong confidant and best buddy in Calvin. We spent 10 days together in a beautiful place doing the same things we have been doing together for years, but it's really about the things I don't get to do with him enough that I so enjoyed. We discussed just about every issue facing mankind in our many nights of scholarly debating, and came up with..........nothing really noteworthy to the advanced intellectual.... except a concensus that humans have a conscience and animals dont. It was: the conversations about our past(s), the revealing of our thoughts, our attitudes, our beliefs, our life-experiences, our struggles, our failures, our triumphs, and our joys that have shaped each of us, it is these that I treasure. We always laugh and bring humor to each others day, and I just don't get tired of hanging out with the Bucduke. I am thankful for the opportunities that Calvin has shared with me, and I know that in the future we will share more together. He is my sensei, my mentor. An excercept of a conversation after he shows me some cool little building trick......(check out the name links, its kinda funny)
Johnny "How did you do that? "
Calvin "Don't know. First time. "
A gifted craftsman and an artist, I have respect for Calvin on so many levels, yet it is his upright character and generosity that are so endearing.
Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know how I feel about my friend, you know I would do anything for you and Julie bro. I am sure that the Kilauea House will be the envy of all who have built mundane and common dwellings around you.
I guess I should tell you all a little about what we did in Hawaii. When I arrived I was immediately put to work the next day and we go a lot done, Calvin wasted no time in employing his new found resource. Calvin introduced me to Guillome, a French traveler who was in Hawaii mainly to pursue a romance with a little hottie from Nor-Cal, Jessica. Guillome doubled as a laborer and teacher, he dug holes as well as explained topography and climate in his native region. I was tutored in the entire French history condensed into a 30 minute lecture by this guy, who I really liked by the way. He grew up in Western France near the border of Spain in the Pyrénées, he is a French Basque. A lot of really cool traditions and history in that area that I probably never would have learned about. Guillome is a really great guy, and he taught me all about Facebook which subsuquently have produced some long lost friends of mine.
Calvin and I finished framing the substructure supports and forms a few days after I arrived and then went to the beach to celebrate our success. His college buddy Rich came over to help us for awhile to help us tie off the upright steel that reinforces the vertical concrete. Rich was a high energy guy, and it was a good thing too, for he had a daunting task that lay ahead of him. He and his wife Holly had come over to get their rental in nearby Princeville re-roofed and as it turns out, they did a lot of the work themselves. I have to say, Holly is the hardest working woman I've ever been around. She was out there everyday in 90+ heat and rain woking her tail off and putting the men to shame. Way to go Holly!
We poured the concrete walls on a overcast morning and several places looked as if they were going to burst at any moment and bring our hopes of going to the beach early crashing down in a wall of wet concrete, permanently casting our French compatriate in the Hawaiin landscape. The walls held however, and Calvin and I could breathe again.
The last few days we helped Rich and Holly a little and took a quick tour up the coast to marvel at the natural surroundings, and not so natural or beautiful creatures that had invaded the place. As quickly as the time had come to go and hang out with my buddy, it had come to an end. Coming back to California was bittersweet... I knew I would miss hanging out with Calvin but I missed my family terribly and couldn't have been away from them much longer without a total breakdown of some sort. So that's the synopsis, there are lots of details I've left out, but for the sake of brevity I will end my story here. Calvin, thanks for more memories!
By the Way: To any adventurers who may go over to work on the house, please note that only professionals should handle power tools..........especially drills. 私達は兄弟をやがて話す

"There's no place like home"

Camp has been buttoned up and I've returned to the central coast. I'm home with my Woman. Oh Yeah! I'll rest for a while, go on vacation and get the next phase planned and product delivered to the site. Like every other aspect of this project, providing utilities to the jobsite has been challenging.

















Water was quite a distance from the house but as you might remember from earlier postings "Grasshopper" tackled that problem. Electricity is not as far away but the utility company wants to boost the power, bring it halfway to the house and then transform it back down to standard current. It will cost ME ..... Tens of Thousands of dollars $$$ for them to "be happy". Duh? Not a hard decision. We'll just go off the grid!!! Solar is the word, Ryan. Photovoltaic & Wind. It's cheaper. Plus, Obama tells me he'll help pay for it. Rock on!

Got my own 'Bat Mobile"

But I'm all alone. A one man band now. Not nearly as fun but the old man is getting it built. The first floor deck is complete. A monster of a job. It was built very "beefy" so it can carry a concrete floor. Totally different perspective from up there. I see the project evolving........ Boy and I are re-thinking the exterior layout. The backyard "Zen garden and Tai Chi area" needs to be out front. All the solar will be in the back. We'll also relocate the men's first tee back there so that hole is longer and we can swing away. It's also a good location for Mr. Greenjeans new garden......which I have been eating out of regularly .....thank-you very much.

Grasshopper #1 (a young John-boy back then) an old friend now, has arrived and we've been working hard to get it together for the "big pour" which took place today. Pouring concrete is high stress for me. Getting ready was difficult. Then there's inspection. Marvin, my inspector, is very cool. Likes my work. But he said there's no inspection needed for grouting walls......the term for pouring concrete into the forms. All that tightly wound fear of "inspection failure' was needless. If only I would follow my own advice and "breathe".....wave hands like clouds.

So, John boy, my college roomate Rich, Guiome (a young hitchhiker I picked up) and I nailed the pour. The forms "bulged" but never broke. We did it boys and girls. Phase one complete. Right on!

They're gone.

Boy and Grasshopper have moved on. Their next adventure calls. I hope they revisit and we live together on the land again. It is a wonderful and comfortable way to exist. I think they will take some of my teachings with them........hopefully, a few of them....... they will be able to apply in life.

Leaving was bittersweet. The adventure was a once in a lifetime affair. There was a plan in place to move on...but all of a sudden, we had to get home in a hurry. Our wonderful friend and father Karl went forth. Talented man. More so than I ever knew. Lot of laps left. So much more life and love to give. There is a spot here on the range for a tree. (Blake, come help me plant it) We'll hit around you, buddy. "You helped me raise my boy", Karl. You and Patty were more of an influence on him than you can ever imagine. I thank you. Your goodness is evident in both of them.

There's a lot to do here. Organization was somewhat "Casual" when the crew was around. We were living on the land, building on the land and having fun! Camp wasn't dialed in properly...no big deal, worked fine, but I've done some remodeling. I got rid of the tent in the living room. That area is smaller and now it's called the "Smokin' Room". Did some kitchen upgrades as well. I, also, returned to find my tent had been trashed. Taken to the dump. Either the newlyweds had a rockin' good time or Blake was tired of the leaks and the stress of worrying about it. I was about to dump it myself. Good call. So, I've moved into their area. Very sweet. Nice. Comphy. You're not getting it back.

I've got John-boy coming. A most recent Grasshopper graduate. He's going to help me. And I will council him once again. Live life my friends.

Been gone awhile-

My Woman.................and I went to Summer camp. I love Hawaii camp with my woman but I love Tai Chi camp as well. We just spent a week at Mt Holyoak college in Massachusetts with some great personalities. That's why we go. All of the classmates are enjoyable company. Thank you Chen !!!.......... YEAH!

Now, Dan........can't say enough. He is the man.......he has the essence and he taught it to me through 36 form.....CHEN! Didn't have it until the last day and I didn't nail the talent show.................as my son calls it. (Dude, were you there? No.) We were doin' 36 form and we were tight! Right on Chen!

Ok, I was leaning on Alan, the guy next to me in line. He got me through those brain farts I was having. Thank you my friend. Then there was Janet. Center stage. "ROCK ON"!! She was carrying us all the way through. And Megan in front of me, "You are the artistic light of our Troop." Monica on the corner....ausgezeichtnet! Tony, what form next year? To the rest of my Chen posse, the next time we all see each other let's be dancing 36 with attitude. Now, read on and visualize what I'm building here. Although it might seem like I'm just fooling around with my kids, we are building a house and an awesome Zen garden where we will practice and hopefully have visiting artists (like yourselves) come teach.

This dream will happen. Might take awhile because I am certainly enjoying the process. But it will be a beautiful place.

Is This a Lollipop Factory?

'Cause all y'all are suckas! That goes out to anyone that hasn't yet taken up Bucduke on the offer to work for him in Kaui. It is the greatest time you will ever have. I just got back from having lunch with the world famous Bucduke a few hours ago and that coupled with the fact that my dad had some weedwacking for me to do back at the house made me really miss The Range. Calvin and Julie's property is the most beautiful place on Earth. Did you wake up every morning for the last month to a scenic mountain scape, gorgeous weather and the opportunity to hang out in paradise with the coolest people you know? Blake and Lauren, don't answer that. I did. This was literally the greatest month of my life, and as anyone who has met me knows, I've led a pretty charmed life, so that is saying a lot. Rather than sit and contemplate how I've been so lucky, I'll just clue everybody in on some highlights.

1. We built a slip 'n slide. Not only was it a blast to go down, but when it wasn't your turn, you got to nail the participant in the face with a bucket of water or take pictures or video to taunt Skylar and his cankle with later that evening. Which brings me to number 2 coolest moment.

2. The Feltmans! Such an awesome family. It was a bummer that Jessica couldn't make it, but I think that just made Tres, Debra and Skylar want to have more fun, so that they could rub it in her face later. The first full day that they were in Kaui was probably the best. We hung at the beach, went to Queen's Bath, made killer tacos, watched b-ball and played a game of Trivial Pursuit that was likely purchased before a majority of the participants were born. I still want a rematch.

3. Margie. The most vivacious, wonderful woman in all of Cape Cod... or Shell Beach... or Princeville... or wherever she decides she wants to live next. Spending mother's day with the woman who birthed the Bucduke was glorious. We watched some killer jazz musicians and enjoyed yet another amazing dinner and sunset. The Bucdutchess is truly the bee's knees.

4. The First Night. First off, Bucduke brought me pizza and beer for when I arrived. Killer. Then by the time we got to The Range, Blake and Lauren had made friends while hitchhiking back from the Na' pali coast. Enter Brad and Heather. Two awesome people vacationing from Oregon. For their going away party we hung out at their camp site on Anini beach. Gorgeous. And Anini Stew is now a personal favorite. Anyone can make it. Just toss in what you got.

5. Matt and Christy's arrival. The newlyweds weren't newlyweds when they arrived at The Range, but it's not surprising that they felt the urge to tie the knot in such a beautiful place. I'm stoked for them, especially because hanging out with them, you know their marriage is going to last forever. Furthermore, they're both rad people, and I can't wait to spend more time with them in SLO. As far as Kaui, we went to Waimea Canyon, which was gorgeous, but we didn't spend a lot of time there because when you see so many beautiful sights in a month, you just kind of check it out, move on and head to the beach. So we went to the beach where Matt, Christy and I fell asleep. Matt awoke to the crash of a big wave and yelled, "Guys!" Christy and I knew exactly what that meant. We sprang up, grabbed our towels and various beach paraphernalia and ran up shore, narrowly escaping the approaching water. It was fun. Then we had shave ice.

6. Twilight Golf. Where the pitching wedge becomes the power wedge, and a 5 iron is way too much club. Killer sunsets, too.

7. Skimboarding. 'Nuff said.

8. Hanging out with Blake and Lauren. My favorite times on The Range were spent just talking to my buddies. Both Blake and Lauren are two of the nicest, most insightful and intelligent, caring and hilarious people I know. Getting a chance to get to know them better and in such an amazing setting was definitely the best part of the entire trip. We would chat about everything from life decisions to teenage acne, and I always have never laughed harder or walked away from a conversation feeling like I could take on the world more than every conversation that I had with them.

Oh yeah, we worked, too. We worked hard and played hard. Took it easy when that was required. And generally, had a blast. Thank you, Calvin and Julie.

Waldo Out! (aka Ryan Heath)

Have they been listening?

I have left 'the sanctuary' of camp for a month so Grasshopper and Boy can practice their new disciplines and show the old man they have been paying attention. I will return when they tell me our "New World" is almost complete.

Yeah right. Those two have no discipline. Sex, drugs and Rock & Roll. They know the way to the beach, where to buy beer and how to get to the airport to pick up their friends.

Hopefully, I haven't failed them completely. Over dinners and under the smoke, I have heard their life plan evolving. They must be listening. The plan was to work for a couple of months and make some money, then leave the Island, pursue their dreams and continue the excellent adventure. Sounds great! But life is kind of ugly out there right now. I hope they recognize that camp is safe. It's a job that pays. And being creative, in spite of the sweat and hard work, can be very fulfilling. But it takes time. We must be patient. Miyagi's posture has always been "Pace yourself". No hurry to get on with life until you're sure.

These last few months with the two of them has been awesome! We've made some excellent progress. We've significantly changed the house as well as our outlooks on life. But, this old man is tired and his new buddy ...."Pain".... needs a little relief. Years of physical abuse and maybe.... night Frisbee with the Feltmans last week..... convinces me it's time to take a break. Exactly what Boy and Grasshopper should do. Take a break. Get off the Island. Visit with family and friends then return to 'sanctuary' and help me finish our creation. I've decided they have no chance of inheritance unless they help finish.

By the way, what a great week we had with Tres, Debbie and Skyler. Besides Ryan, they were the only visitors to come play with us. Then again, Matt and Christy just arrived. Wish I could have spent more time with them. Hey, you two, no sex in my bed until you're married! Congratulations.

I'm on my way to summer camp with my woman. After a 2 day R&R in San Francisco with cousin Steven and Barbara, it's off to the East Coast for some Tai Chi and Mom's 80th.

The Bucduke Can't Sing

He may claim that I can't dance, but at least I try. He endured the monotone sounds of the marine and the video poker girl who entertained the bar for hours with their uninspired renditions of classic tunes. He sang backup as I payed homage to Christopher Cross with the underrated, "Ride Like the Wind." He watched in awe as Ryan sang classics "Runaround Sue" and George Michael's "Faith." He was brought back to life when Skylar revived the whole crowd with his country jams. And he even helped Lauren remember the lyrics to many of the half dozen songs that she belted out. But as we drove away from Tradewinds Karaoke Bar, his song slip sat safely in his pocket: Huey Lewis & the News' "I Want a New Drug" would not be butchered this evening...at least not by the Bucduke.

Whatevers Barney.

OK, I've been lame

Haven't been posting lately.  But talk about lame, Boy and Grasshopper haven't been participating at all.  Hard to get them to even read my postings.  Must be Waldo's presence.  Yes, Ryan has arrived.   Just in time.  Our neighbor who cashed the check I gave him to hook up to his water and electricity, did the freakout when he arrived for vacation.  Wanted us off his grid.  Had to ask the other neighbors to step in and provide the miracle elixir. We discovered much more enjoyable and trustworthy friends.  So, with Waldo's help, we been cutting trenches for our own water system throughout the property.  For days, we've had to muscle around this beast of a machine.  We're tired and grumpy and want to go to the beach.  And the weathers been odd.  The active volcano on the other Island is spewing through a new vent.  It's been affecting our weather.  It's hot, sticky and there's an ugly haze, similar to LA smog, just hangin' over the whole Island.  

We're basically done.........which simply means we're tired and we're quitting that job for awhile.  The bucduke's attention threshold has been met.  Back to the house.  

We've got permission to pour a concrete slab that will be the floor for a mechanical room and some piers for the sub floor system.  We've beefed up the floor system so it will support a concrete floor.  The building, although it will be our main living space, can be turned into an office, a garage or some kind of Agricultural building.  A future owner could then build a larger residence along with a guest house.  I just want to be able to park my "Syncro" in the house like Dan Tana of that 1960's TV action series.  Immaculate '57 Ford T-bird parked right next to the couches in the living room.  Very cool.

The pour is Wednesday.  Feltmans arrive Thursday.  Julie's on her way the next week.  Making the dream happen.  We're building a way of life we hope to share with our pals.  Come on over.  

There's red dirt everywhere.

All of us got tired of digging.  Grasshopper and "boy" decided to bail.  They went hiking on the Na Pali Coast.  It'll be a good one.  Some rough terrain and wet for sure.  They'll only be gone a couple 3 days but the 'Schlep-per' (AKA:'boy') looked pretty weighted down.  Not sure what they were packin' but I heard a lot of "what ever you want "sweekums" during the prep phase.  Without doubt, he'll be useless the rest of the week.  An intervention might be in order when he returns.   I think he's addicted to the "heavy breather".

Fortunately, Waldo's coming to town.  He grew up with both of them. His presence will be beneficial during 'detox'.  Hopefully, he'll be able to pick up 'Blake's"job site responsibilities as well.  But then again,Waldo's had his own problems lately.  The report on Ryan from his probation officer was disturbing.  He  warned me not to expect too much right off the bat.  Waldo's a college grad who had a great career in the hospitality industry in San Francisco.  He was the most respected restaurateur (House of Prime Rib) of every meat eatin' drunk on Van Ness.  He gave it all up to join a boy band.  Don't get me wrong, most of us real men from the 60's fantasised about being in a boy band.  But there weren't  any venues with that kind of music back then.  All that rock and roll shit was happening.   Bummer!  Anyways,  Ryan befriended the elderly 50+ something cougars and married a few of them for their money.  He got busted for being a polygamist.  He still wears an ankle bracelet.  It's all about life choices. Naturally, an ex-addict will be an asset during the reeducation  of "boy".

It looks as though the building of the Kilauea Round House might be on hold.

 

Where's Waldo?

Ryan.......where are you dude?  We need your help.  I need you to dig.  Grasshopper needs a mule and the Blakester is looking forward to Sunset debates on the golf course.  Get packing. 

Almost cut my hair

But I got over that urge quickly enough.  It is gettin' kind of long but I decided I'm looking rather cool these days.  That old, middle aged, out of shape, albino looking Bozo is almost unrecognizable behind this new look.  Together with the awesome 4WD VW van (that gets me the....yeah, dude you are way cool..... look from even the locals),  some new $10 drug store shades and a kind of tan that many might argue is more red dirt than solar infused, I could easily be cast in some makeover reality TV show.  Well, maybe not.    

However, I am living out the greatest chapter of my life.  I am camping on a piece of dirt I own.  I am building a piece of art with my son and his sweet'hartz' and I wake every day knowing I can either work or play.  It doesn't get any better. 

Today, we dig.  We are making changes, again.  The floor system is designed to sit on a network of girders....big beams.  It also hangs off the walls that we've built, which is easy to do when they are straight.  But some idiot wanted a round building.  Hanging a straight wood board off a round wall that then has to support the super structure of  floor is not going to be easy.  I think we'll just build an independent floor system that supports itself.  More better.  More solid. More work too.

Doesn't matter. I'm having the time of my life.  And I've got nothing but time on my hands. 

Sunday's are for rest

Today, Grasshopper needed a little breathing space.......I think it was 'heavy breathing'  she was after......so last night she suggested I take her Dad to the Bakery in the morning.  I followed instructions, challenged her Dad to a bike ride and off to the "creamery" we went.  After a few artery clogging butter bombs, a cup-o-coffee and the joy of realizing we have some great kids, we packed up a few 'bombs' for the horny ones and began our return flight.  Didn't make it to the parking lot and there they were, Captains Hartz and Andrews of Kauai Search and Rescue all freaked out because we hadn't made it home yet.  What a couple of old women. I thought they were busy.  Either they can't concentrate or they're way too fast.  The ride home.....in the Van....was quite nice.  After all, we are taking the day off.  (like we work long and hard any other day)

We've finished phase one.  Blocks are stacked to the first floor, vents are cut in and now we do some bracing to make sure everything stands vertically 'plumb' and the forms are strong enough to hold the concrete.  We are going to pour the concrete in sections.  The first pour will be up to floor level.  That's about 4' in height.  The second pour will be after we complete the walls of the house, have all the doors and windows properly placed and more importantly have experienced the excitement, stress and rush of  a "pour day".  Like a roller coaster,  pouring concrete is scary but fun.  Unfortunately, concrete is a perishable material.  It's doing it's best to dry and get hard while you're putting it in place. So, no brain farts allowed.  The game plan must be dialed in and everything has got to be tightly wound and thought out.  Back up must also be in  place and the beer must be coolin'.  We'll be ready  I bought Bud... in cans. 

Phase two pour will be much easier.... because it will be completed by  "Veterans."  Rock on.  The rest of the day was beach, boogy boarding and booze. 

I can't believe, we're eating out of the garden

It's true.  Dinner was highlited by the herbs which are happening.  Green onions look happy.  The corn is reaching for the sky.  Somethin' over in the corner looks a bit sickly.....but, with all due respect,  Mr. Greenjeans, (AKA that little punk Blake) proved to the wise old man that he is a "Mental", and knows what he's talking about. They have created a beautiful garden.  Honorable Daniel-son......Bon Appetite.  I salute you.

What was I thinking?

Who's idea was this round thing? I'm only a foot out of the ground and everything has to be custom cut. This will take forever. Ahhh.............I'm going to have to take a "time out". The next lesson for Daniel-son and Grasshopper is how to navigate the 'Happy Talk Lounge'. Innkeeper, Innkepper....mas cervesa por favor! strategy. Some music, a bowl and a couple of brews.......No better way to plan strategy. Fortunately, Grasshopper and "boy" keep busy by working in the garden while the wise one figures things out. Garden looks beauty. The neighborhood varmints are starting to salivate. Just looked and the frogs seem to be first in line. Leafy greens must be where it's at.

Today, actually turned out to be a good practice day. Butchered a lot of wood trying to cut straight wood into curves. Finally put the silly tools away and pulled out "a big saw". Precision cuts aren't necessary. This is concrete. I got the regular saw out and got it turning just right. No problem. It was cutting 'bends' better than the jig saw.

I'm focused on venting the crawl-space under the house. The house stands about 4' foot tall before we build the main floor. Height under a house is good because air movement will keep it dry and the great Trade Winds flowing across this property will also keep the house cooler during the summer months. But this roundness is starting to bug me. I think we finally have the production aspect down. Tomorrow we make good progress. Then the girlfriend's Dad arrives. How exciting.

Back to School

The brain-i-acts are off to the local community college for a gardening expo. They hope to learn how to jump start their garden and be living off the land by weeks end. Their recent traveling through Thailand, Laos and Vietnam exposed them to the finer aspects of "Bug Cuisine". Beatles, Termites and some mystery meat??? I suspect that is why they are into leafy greens these days. Our first Papaya was harvested yesterday. Although it was growing long before we got here, the nurturing it has received since our arrival is reflected in it's stupendous size, color and smell. Bon appetite!

Yesterday we modified camp for up-coming visitors. Grasshopper's dad, Chris, will be joining us for a week. And I hear Waldo's on his way. No more fooling around. We've got to get organized. Can't have this crew standing around while I contemplate. Today, I will practice 'Door and Window' cutting.

This 'round' concept, complicates every step. Areas where there will be doors, windows and vents must be created by blocking off the flow of concrete when the walls are poured. This is done with wood frames, but the top and bottom pieces of these frames must be curved like the walls. I will use a jigsaw and try to mass produce these pieces. Sounds simple. Yeah, right.

We did a little gardening....moved a lot of dirt, but let's move on.

This house we're building is of concrete. It is round. It is not conventional in any sense of the word. We're experienced but other than pouring concrete foundations, this is all new stuff. But, we are faking it....quite nicely so far.

Excellent minds..............our team has 2 college brain-i-acts and a wise old man.......excellent minds can work together. Consensually, we decide how to approach each project. The brain-i-acts have good ideas. The wise old man has better ones. However, occasionally the wise old man has a brain fart which the young ones are quick to point out. Fortunately, little time has been lost during those wrong turns so arguing that it might be wise for the old fool to finish college is a waste of time. Everyone makes mistakes. The key to life is to fix them.

Our first hurdle was to figure how to bend our material so it would be round. Remember, we are building a round concrete house. Concrete walls are built using those blocks we built college bookshelves out of. Then you pour concrete into them. More exotic concrete structures use wood to house the poured concrete until it hardens and then you remove the wood form. We are using a Styrofoam form material made by Quadlock out of Vancouver, Canada. Great product. It doesn't have to be removed afterwards so it insulates the wall. The only problem is the panels are straight and rigid. We've got to make them bend. Quadlock figured some of us would be a bit eccentric and build a round wall here and there so they designed it in such a way that all one must do is slightly cut "or kerf" the sidewalls of the Styrofoam panel and it will bend. Most projects will have one or two curved walls which require just a few cuts. Because our house is totally round, it means thousands of cuts. The wise old man, with a little help from the "mentals", built a machine with 7 saws. Nothing but a piece of plywood with cheap Home depot saws screwed to it. We turned it over and put it on a bench that "grasshopper" built, then we applied wood guides on the new table to direct the panels toward the blades. We push each piece of Styrofoam over the saw blades and cut all the grooves at once. We actually have 8 pieces of Styrofoam on the table at all times moving through the blades like an assembly line. Takes but a few minutes to push 100 pieces through. Very inventive! MacGiver and Mr. Miyagi must have hung out together. Or maybe the wise old man is just a Genius!

Getting it together

O.K.....we've painted the picnic table and built some decks, set up some tents, modified the shower, created a fine cooking area..............Hey!..... I think we've got camp dialed in. Let's build a house.

Grasshopper calls this the Kilauea Styrofoam house. Well, it'll be a Styrofoam house for awhile until we pour concrete into the styro-forms. We're building a concrete house with Styrofoam Insulated Concrete forms. I want a hurricane proof, termite resistant, low maintenance building. I think it will be battery operated....AKA solar photovoltaic. I think it'll have a wood roof with drywall inside and stucco on the outside. But, I really don't know how it will look when it's done. Many talented hands will be involved and many opinionated minds will weigh in on what to do. I have always had a "create as you go" mindset. And the projects my partners and I develop have always evolved into artistically attractive properties. This will be my most enjoyable project yet, simply because I am living on the land and my loved ones are helping me create a simple and comfortable lifestyle on this lovely hunk of dirt. Tomorrow, the gardens begins. I will be grasshopper then.

So, what do you do?

We've been on Kauai for almost a month now; in that time we've built 2 decks, a kitchen, erected 2 tents and turned them into livable spaces, and started to build a styrofoam wall. Yet still, whenever we tell someone new, "oh, we're here to build a house", no matter how dirty I am, they always ask me, "so, what do you do?"

Well, here's my response to that......I do it all. I may be a girl, one who likes to dress up, go out, and be treated to an occasional trip to the jewelry store, but I can still hammer a nail, drive a screw, and carry a 2x4 with the best of men (i.e Calvin and Blake). I know how to measure 16- 7/16", I know how to use a power saw, and I can do amazing things with duct tape. So people need to have a little faith.

Around the "job site", I'm no longer known as Lauren, I'm Grasshopper, apprentice of the famed Mr. Miyagi, learner of the trade, newest addition to the building world. I'm strong, capable, and an invaluable asset to the team.

So, there you have it. Next time you wonder, "what does Lauren do all day while Blake and Calvin build?", you'll know better. I'm out there, getting dirty, roughing up my manicured hands, and cursing with them (actually, at them).

Call me Mr. Miyagi

THE CREW HAS ARRIVED! We're going to build a house. Don't need another one but my beautiful wife, the not famous Julie Andrews, has a dream. Julie and I own a piece of paradise. It needs a house. A place to dwell. And my son, the famous porn star, Blake Andrews, whom I've always thought of as "Daniel-son", indicated he needed some R&R from his " World Tour". He wants in on the adventure. And he met this woman.... the most beautiful Island Girl from Inland......I call her 'Grasshopper'. She "completes" the crew. We are "ONE".

We are actually building more than just a house. I want to rediscover and share with the young ones this mindset I had when I was their age. It was simple and peaceful and loving. It was a great time in my life. Now that I am a seasoned warrior, it is time to rediscover that lovely world. It was a happy place. I'd like to share it with my crew.

I also get to share my life's lessons with them. Poor souls. I bet I'll learn a life's lesson or two myself. So, let's paint the picnic table.