Is This a Lollipop Factory?

'Cause all y'all are suckas! That goes out to anyone that hasn't yet taken up Bucduke on the offer to work for him in Kaui. It is the greatest time you will ever have. I just got back from having lunch with the world famous Bucduke a few hours ago and that coupled with the fact that my dad had some weedwacking for me to do back at the house made me really miss The Range. Calvin and Julie's property is the most beautiful place on Earth. Did you wake up every morning for the last month to a scenic mountain scape, gorgeous weather and the opportunity to hang out in paradise with the coolest people you know? Blake and Lauren, don't answer that. I did. This was literally the greatest month of my life, and as anyone who has met me knows, I've led a pretty charmed life, so that is saying a lot. Rather than sit and contemplate how I've been so lucky, I'll just clue everybody in on some highlights.

1. We built a slip 'n slide. Not only was it a blast to go down, but when it wasn't your turn, you got to nail the participant in the face with a bucket of water or take pictures or video to taunt Skylar and his cankle with later that evening. Which brings me to number 2 coolest moment.

2. The Feltmans! Such an awesome family. It was a bummer that Jessica couldn't make it, but I think that just made Tres, Debra and Skylar want to have more fun, so that they could rub it in her face later. The first full day that they were in Kaui was probably the best. We hung at the beach, went to Queen's Bath, made killer tacos, watched b-ball and played a game of Trivial Pursuit that was likely purchased before a majority of the participants were born. I still want a rematch.

3. Margie. The most vivacious, wonderful woman in all of Cape Cod... or Shell Beach... or Princeville... or wherever she decides she wants to live next. Spending mother's day with the woman who birthed the Bucduke was glorious. We watched some killer jazz musicians and enjoyed yet another amazing dinner and sunset. The Bucdutchess is truly the bee's knees.

4. The First Night. First off, Bucduke brought me pizza and beer for when I arrived. Killer. Then by the time we got to The Range, Blake and Lauren had made friends while hitchhiking back from the Na' pali coast. Enter Brad and Heather. Two awesome people vacationing from Oregon. For their going away party we hung out at their camp site on Anini beach. Gorgeous. And Anini Stew is now a personal favorite. Anyone can make it. Just toss in what you got.

5. Matt and Christy's arrival. The newlyweds weren't newlyweds when they arrived at The Range, but it's not surprising that they felt the urge to tie the knot in such a beautiful place. I'm stoked for them, especially because hanging out with them, you know their marriage is going to last forever. Furthermore, they're both rad people, and I can't wait to spend more time with them in SLO. As far as Kaui, we went to Waimea Canyon, which was gorgeous, but we didn't spend a lot of time there because when you see so many beautiful sights in a month, you just kind of check it out, move on and head to the beach. So we went to the beach where Matt, Christy and I fell asleep. Matt awoke to the crash of a big wave and yelled, "Guys!" Christy and I knew exactly what that meant. We sprang up, grabbed our towels and various beach paraphernalia and ran up shore, narrowly escaping the approaching water. It was fun. Then we had shave ice.

6. Twilight Golf. Where the pitching wedge becomes the power wedge, and a 5 iron is way too much club. Killer sunsets, too.

7. Skimboarding. 'Nuff said.

8. Hanging out with Blake and Lauren. My favorite times on The Range were spent just talking to my buddies. Both Blake and Lauren are two of the nicest, most insightful and intelligent, caring and hilarious people I know. Getting a chance to get to know them better and in such an amazing setting was definitely the best part of the entire trip. We would chat about everything from life decisions to teenage acne, and I always have never laughed harder or walked away from a conversation feeling like I could take on the world more than every conversation that I had with them.

Oh yeah, we worked, too. We worked hard and played hard. Took it easy when that was required. And generally, had a blast. Thank you, Calvin and Julie.

Waldo Out! (aka Ryan Heath)

Have they been listening?

I have left 'the sanctuary' of camp for a month so Grasshopper and Boy can practice their new disciplines and show the old man they have been paying attention. I will return when they tell me our "New World" is almost complete.

Yeah right. Those two have no discipline. Sex, drugs and Rock & Roll. They know the way to the beach, where to buy beer and how to get to the airport to pick up their friends.

Hopefully, I haven't failed them completely. Over dinners and under the smoke, I have heard their life plan evolving. They must be listening. The plan was to work for a couple of months and make some money, then leave the Island, pursue their dreams and continue the excellent adventure. Sounds great! But life is kind of ugly out there right now. I hope they recognize that camp is safe. It's a job that pays. And being creative, in spite of the sweat and hard work, can be very fulfilling. But it takes time. We must be patient. Miyagi's posture has always been "Pace yourself". No hurry to get on with life until you're sure.

These last few months with the two of them has been awesome! We've made some excellent progress. We've significantly changed the house as well as our outlooks on life. But, this old man is tired and his new buddy ...."Pain".... needs a little relief. Years of physical abuse and maybe.... night Frisbee with the Feltmans last week..... convinces me it's time to take a break. Exactly what Boy and Grasshopper should do. Take a break. Get off the Island. Visit with family and friends then return to 'sanctuary' and help me finish our creation. I've decided they have no chance of inheritance unless they help finish.

By the way, what a great week we had with Tres, Debbie and Skyler. Besides Ryan, they were the only visitors to come play with us. Then again, Matt and Christy just arrived. Wish I could have spent more time with them. Hey, you two, no sex in my bed until you're married! Congratulations.

I'm on my way to summer camp with my woman. After a 2 day R&R in San Francisco with cousin Steven and Barbara, it's off to the East Coast for some Tai Chi and Mom's 80th.