Where's Waldo?

Ryan.......where are you dude?  We need your help.  I need you to dig.  Grasshopper needs a mule and the Blakester is looking forward to Sunset debates on the golf course.  Get packing. 

Almost cut my hair

But I got over that urge quickly enough.  It is gettin' kind of long but I decided I'm looking rather cool these days.  That old, middle aged, out of shape, albino looking Bozo is almost unrecognizable behind this new look.  Together with the awesome 4WD VW van (that gets me the....yeah, dude you are way cool..... look from even the locals),  some new $10 drug store shades and a kind of tan that many might argue is more red dirt than solar infused, I could easily be cast in some makeover reality TV show.  Well, maybe not.    

However, I am living out the greatest chapter of my life.  I am camping on a piece of dirt I own.  I am building a piece of art with my son and his sweet'hartz' and I wake every day knowing I can either work or play.  It doesn't get any better. 

Today, we dig.  We are making changes, again.  The floor system is designed to sit on a network of girders....big beams.  It also hangs off the walls that we've built, which is easy to do when they are straight.  But some idiot wanted a round building.  Hanging a straight wood board off a round wall that then has to support the super structure of  floor is not going to be easy.  I think we'll just build an independent floor system that supports itself.  More better.  More solid. More work too.

Doesn't matter. I'm having the time of my life.  And I've got nothing but time on my hands. 

Sunday's are for rest

Today, Grasshopper needed a little breathing space.......I think it was 'heavy breathing'  she was after......so last night she suggested I take her Dad to the Bakery in the morning.  I followed instructions, challenged her Dad to a bike ride and off to the "creamery" we went.  After a few artery clogging butter bombs, a cup-o-coffee and the joy of realizing we have some great kids, we packed up a few 'bombs' for the horny ones and began our return flight.  Didn't make it to the parking lot and there they were, Captains Hartz and Andrews of Kauai Search and Rescue all freaked out because we hadn't made it home yet.  What a couple of old women. I thought they were busy.  Either they can't concentrate or they're way too fast.  The ride home.....in the Van....was quite nice.  After all, we are taking the day off.  (like we work long and hard any other day)

We've finished phase one.  Blocks are stacked to the first floor, vents are cut in and now we do some bracing to make sure everything stands vertically 'plumb' and the forms are strong enough to hold the concrete.  We are going to pour the concrete in sections.  The first pour will be up to floor level.  That's about 4' in height.  The second pour will be after we complete the walls of the house, have all the doors and windows properly placed and more importantly have experienced the excitement, stress and rush of  a "pour day".  Like a roller coaster,  pouring concrete is scary but fun.  Unfortunately, concrete is a perishable material.  It's doing it's best to dry and get hard while you're putting it in place. So, no brain farts allowed.  The game plan must be dialed in and everything has got to be tightly wound and thought out.  Back up must also be in  place and the beer must be coolin'.  We'll be ready  I bought Bud... in cans. 

Phase two pour will be much easier.... because it will be completed by  "Veterans."  Rock on.  The rest of the day was beach, boogy boarding and booze. 

I can't believe, we're eating out of the garden

It's true.  Dinner was highlited by the herbs which are happening.  Green onions look happy.  The corn is reaching for the sky.  Somethin' over in the corner looks a bit sickly.....but, with all due respect,  Mr. Greenjeans, (AKA that little punk Blake) proved to the wise old man that he is a "Mental", and knows what he's talking about. They have created a beautiful garden.  Honorable Daniel-son......Bon Appetite.  I salute you.

What was I thinking?

Who's idea was this round thing? I'm only a foot out of the ground and everything has to be custom cut. This will take forever. Ahhh.............I'm going to have to take a "time out". The next lesson for Daniel-son and Grasshopper is how to navigate the 'Happy Talk Lounge'. Innkeeper, Innkepper....mas cervesa por favor! strategy. Some music, a bowl and a couple of brews.......No better way to plan strategy. Fortunately, Grasshopper and "boy" keep busy by working in the garden while the wise one figures things out. Garden looks beauty. The neighborhood varmints are starting to salivate. Just looked and the frogs seem to be first in line. Leafy greens must be where it's at.

Today, actually turned out to be a good practice day. Butchered a lot of wood trying to cut straight wood into curves. Finally put the silly tools away and pulled out "a big saw". Precision cuts aren't necessary. This is concrete. I got the regular saw out and got it turning just right. No problem. It was cutting 'bends' better than the jig saw.

I'm focused on venting the crawl-space under the house. The house stands about 4' foot tall before we build the main floor. Height under a house is good because air movement will keep it dry and the great Trade Winds flowing across this property will also keep the house cooler during the summer months. But this roundness is starting to bug me. I think we finally have the production aspect down. Tomorrow we make good progress. Then the girlfriend's Dad arrives. How exciting.

Back to School

The brain-i-acts are off to the local community college for a gardening expo. They hope to learn how to jump start their garden and be living off the land by weeks end. Their recent traveling through Thailand, Laos and Vietnam exposed them to the finer aspects of "Bug Cuisine". Beatles, Termites and some mystery meat??? I suspect that is why they are into leafy greens these days. Our first Papaya was harvested yesterday. Although it was growing long before we got here, the nurturing it has received since our arrival is reflected in it's stupendous size, color and smell. Bon appetite!

Yesterday we modified camp for up-coming visitors. Grasshopper's dad, Chris, will be joining us for a week. And I hear Waldo's on his way. No more fooling around. We've got to get organized. Can't have this crew standing around while I contemplate. Today, I will practice 'Door and Window' cutting.

This 'round' concept, complicates every step. Areas where there will be doors, windows and vents must be created by blocking off the flow of concrete when the walls are poured. This is done with wood frames, but the top and bottom pieces of these frames must be curved like the walls. I will use a jigsaw and try to mass produce these pieces. Sounds simple. Yeah, right.

We did a little gardening....moved a lot of dirt, but let's move on.

This house we're building is of concrete. It is round. It is not conventional in any sense of the word. We're experienced but other than pouring concrete foundations, this is all new stuff. But, we are faking it....quite nicely so far.

Excellent minds..............our team has 2 college brain-i-acts and a wise old man.......excellent minds can work together. Consensually, we decide how to approach each project. The brain-i-acts have good ideas. The wise old man has better ones. However, occasionally the wise old man has a brain fart which the young ones are quick to point out. Fortunately, little time has been lost during those wrong turns so arguing that it might be wise for the old fool to finish college is a waste of time. Everyone makes mistakes. The key to life is to fix them.

Our first hurdle was to figure how to bend our material so it would be round. Remember, we are building a round concrete house. Concrete walls are built using those blocks we built college bookshelves out of. Then you pour concrete into them. More exotic concrete structures use wood to house the poured concrete until it hardens and then you remove the wood form. We are using a Styrofoam form material made by Quadlock out of Vancouver, Canada. Great product. It doesn't have to be removed afterwards so it insulates the wall. The only problem is the panels are straight and rigid. We've got to make them bend. Quadlock figured some of us would be a bit eccentric and build a round wall here and there so they designed it in such a way that all one must do is slightly cut "or kerf" the sidewalls of the Styrofoam panel and it will bend. Most projects will have one or two curved walls which require just a few cuts. Because our house is totally round, it means thousands of cuts. The wise old man, with a little help from the "mentals", built a machine with 7 saws. Nothing but a piece of plywood with cheap Home depot saws screwed to it. We turned it over and put it on a bench that "grasshopper" built, then we applied wood guides on the new table to direct the panels toward the blades. We push each piece of Styrofoam over the saw blades and cut all the grooves at once. We actually have 8 pieces of Styrofoam on the table at all times moving through the blades like an assembly line. Takes but a few minutes to push 100 pieces through. Very inventive! MacGiver and Mr. Miyagi must have hung out together. Or maybe the wise old man is just a Genius!

Getting it together

O.K.....we've painted the picnic table and built some decks, set up some tents, modified the shower, created a fine cooking area..............Hey!..... I think we've got camp dialed in. Let's build a house.

Grasshopper calls this the Kilauea Styrofoam house. Well, it'll be a Styrofoam house for awhile until we pour concrete into the styro-forms. We're building a concrete house with Styrofoam Insulated Concrete forms. I want a hurricane proof, termite resistant, low maintenance building. I think it will be battery operated....AKA solar photovoltaic. I think it'll have a wood roof with drywall inside and stucco on the outside. But, I really don't know how it will look when it's done. Many talented hands will be involved and many opinionated minds will weigh in on what to do. I have always had a "create as you go" mindset. And the projects my partners and I develop have always evolved into artistically attractive properties. This will be my most enjoyable project yet, simply because I am living on the land and my loved ones are helping me create a simple and comfortable lifestyle on this lovely hunk of dirt. Tomorrow, the gardens begins. I will be grasshopper then.

So, what do you do?

We've been on Kauai for almost a month now; in that time we've built 2 decks, a kitchen, erected 2 tents and turned them into livable spaces, and started to build a styrofoam wall. Yet still, whenever we tell someone new, "oh, we're here to build a house", no matter how dirty I am, they always ask me, "so, what do you do?"

Well, here's my response to that......I do it all. I may be a girl, one who likes to dress up, go out, and be treated to an occasional trip to the jewelry store, but I can still hammer a nail, drive a screw, and carry a 2x4 with the best of men (i.e Calvin and Blake). I know how to measure 16- 7/16", I know how to use a power saw, and I can do amazing things with duct tape. So people need to have a little faith.

Around the "job site", I'm no longer known as Lauren, I'm Grasshopper, apprentice of the famed Mr. Miyagi, learner of the trade, newest addition to the building world. I'm strong, capable, and an invaluable asset to the team.

So, there you have it. Next time you wonder, "what does Lauren do all day while Blake and Calvin build?", you'll know better. I'm out there, getting dirty, roughing up my manicured hands, and cursing with them (actually, at them).

Call me Mr. Miyagi

THE CREW HAS ARRIVED! We're going to build a house. Don't need another one but my beautiful wife, the not famous Julie Andrews, has a dream. Julie and I own a piece of paradise. It needs a house. A place to dwell. And my son, the famous porn star, Blake Andrews, whom I've always thought of as "Daniel-son", indicated he needed some R&R from his " World Tour". He wants in on the adventure. And he met this woman.... the most beautiful Island Girl from Inland......I call her 'Grasshopper'. She "completes" the crew. We are "ONE".

We are actually building more than just a house. I want to rediscover and share with the young ones this mindset I had when I was their age. It was simple and peaceful and loving. It was a great time in my life. Now that I am a seasoned warrior, it is time to rediscover that lovely world. It was a happy place. I'd like to share it with my crew.

I also get to share my life's lessons with them. Poor souls. I bet I'll learn a life's lesson or two myself. So, let's paint the picnic table.